The 25 things I have learnt in my 25 years

  1. Making lists of the things you love will give one immense pleasure… My favourite five albums? Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange, Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run, Jon Hopkins’ Immunity, Crowded House’s Crowded House, Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds. Nostalgia in practical form.


  1. ‘You can tell a man from what he has to say’ – Crowded House… What a band.


  1. Talking yourself out of things costs so much enjoyment and spontaneous contentment. Unless it is actually a deeper voice than that of your own… i.e your brain sending alarm bells when you go to jump off your roof into the pool below. You should probably listen to that voice.
  1. Perception is reality – people’s opinions on you will be completely different to how you see yourself – it might surprise you, offend you, hurt you, gratify you
  1. Comparing yourself with others will kill you softly.
  1. ‘Put me on a pedestal and I’ll only disappoint you’ – Courtney Barnett.
  1. The butterflies when sitting across from a beautiful girl/woman are dizzying.
  1. Courage is so much more than running onto a football field, or approaching a woman in a nightclub, or sitting for a big job interview. Courage is vulnerability, and tenderness and opening yourself up to the potential of failure.
  1. Running out of dip for chips is one of the most frustrating experiences.

    dip and chips

  1. It is very easy to go with the crowd and the group, and so difficult to go against the grain. Once you commit to that though, you’ll inevitably realise that it is the fear of rejection, the fear of being lonely that stops you from making the choice.
  1. No man is a god, no woman is a goddess, no human can save you from yourself.
  1. In contradiction to 15… Van Morrison and Bruce Springsteen are prophets.


  1. Life is too short to watch shit TV, but shit movies? Every once in a while.
  1. Perfect is a fucking stupid word. Perfection is a completely inane notion.
  1. Dancing every day to a daringly loud, devilishly catchy playlist is the essence of life.
  1. Oysters actually are delicious.

    Man feeding girlfriend oysters --- Image by © Judith Haeusler/cultura/Corbis

  1. No matter how confident you are with certain parts of your existence, there will always be a point or a moment, or perhaps even a day, a week or a month, when you feel worthless, or your life feels meaningless and you have no direction.
  1. Trust in conversation, therapy and education. An open heart allows you to be closer to the people you love.
  1. No matter how hard you try, not everyone is going to like you.
  1. No matter how hard you try, not every woman is going to want to sleep with you.


  1. Face the moment, don’t stream ahead to next week, next month and next year.
  1. I’ll never get over good pizza.

    A sausage pizza sits on a table at Pizzeria Uno in Chicago January 20, 2010. The parent of the Uno Chicago Grill pizza chain, Uno Restaurant Holdings Corp  has filed for bankruptcy after sales fell and ingredient costs rose, and said it agreed on a restructuring that would give bondholders a controlling stake. REUTERS/John Gress (UNITED STATES - Tags: BUSINESS FOOD) - RTR297A5

  1. Your parents are not the holier-than-thou figures that you had conjured up in your mind as a kid. They are flawed human beings like everybody else. However, when you look at their track record in regard to bringing you up, you’ve got to cut them some slack. More importantly (and as cheesy as it sounds), they are more than your parents; they have become your friends.
  1. Sex is fantastic. Sex with someone you care about is even better. However, yeah, sex is generally fantastic.
  1. Adulthood is a myth. Nothing just clicks; you’re not just going to go from a kid to a father capable of sending his kids to expensive schools. The process is long and arduous. This is where the whole ‘patience is a virtue’ kicks in. However, throw yourself out there to be seen. Don’t shelter yourself from the unknown.

    PS: Book shops are the greatest refuge from everyday hustle and bustle. (Is that number 1 or just an addition for next year?)


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