The adjustment bureau.

I just realised that I am one of those people who subconsciously alter their behaviour when around particularly people.  That is a lie, I’ve always known that I adjust my behaviour accordingly when in the presence of different people.  I have a very disjointed manner when I am in a packed cafe with a person that I am not totally comfortable with.  You know the feeling when you have a table to your left and a table to your right and you think they are listening to every word you say?  Well, I constantly get self conscious about this.  When I am around one particularly woman/girl (it always sounds so childishly inconspicuous when I refer to an adult woman as a girl but there is something not quite right about referring to her as a woman in my eyes) I extend my laugh so that she notices my lust for life, kind of like a mating call. A very, very unsuccessful mating call.   This, in my own completely uneducated estimates is an instinctual habit that many of us have developed through our socialisation within a particular culture… or some bullshit like that.  We need to draw attention toward our more positive attributes as to dictate just how attractive we really are.  Again, I’m no biologist but I’m pretty sure that the awkward rubbing action that I commence when I’m in a conversation extenuates my curves and general body mass.  Of course this is not true, I am merely a very nervous conversationalist in the early stages of a relationship with another being.

But what if we constantly adjusted our behaviour to suit both the company and the conversation?  Who is to say that we don’t?  We lie to get out of trouble when confronted by a figure of authority, we charm when we want to make much ado about nothing/get cheeky with another individual and both men and women are very guilty when it comes to the art of pumping out our best features to intimidate or warn off competitors in the gym, in a busy street or even at a cool box social that all the fellas and sheilas are attending.  Image

Does this mean that we are all a bunch of phony balonies?  To an extent.  But it’s in our nature to exaggerate, to emphasise, to draw from our strengths and hide our weaknesses. It relates to why some people make such an effort to make unusual fashion statements or why we sometimes research obscure facts to reel off when they are courting a new individual.  We all have many masks that we take onto the stage of life.  At times all these masks are really hiding are our conjunctivitis or our legitimate character.  Maybe life is all but an act and not everyone has rehearsed for the matinee performance.


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